Media Whores Weather Updates – Cyclone Gita…for Gits
Media Whores weather expert (pictured) has warned there might be a big storm coming soon…..but is not entirely sure.
It might be hitting the North Island soon – or the South – or somewhere in between those two regions….soon…ish.
Although it may just turn out to be heavy rain with a bit of hot air and ‘wind’. Like the vast majority of these media events – to be fair.
Please be assured that heavy rain will result in flooding these days, due to the fact that the communist/ Soviet government have been siphoning off all your tax money and sending it all overseas whilst not actually maintaining or fixing anything….for the past 30 years.
Please also be assured that you will be bedazzled with very expensive CGI graphics from TVNZ and communist owned Media Werks (666) with hundreds of pictures of the curved ball Earth and Saturn’s rings swirling around in random fashion so as to better hypnotize you and your family. You are paying for the entire production after all – one way or another.
The team at NASA and NIWA have sent us the following CGI graphic which does seem to suggest something is not quite right. Namely there appears to be no stars in space and no sign at all of the other 13,000 saturn-lights which they claim are up there. Very ominous.
There was of course a giant sudden storm a few weeks back which took roofs off buildings right down the West Coast of the South Island – but nobody saw it coming and thus none of the clowns in the $5 billion per year mainstream media apparatus were able to warn anyone. NASA were all using their latest tax payer funded camera technology to take selfies for Valentines Day which didn’t help much either.
We are however fairly sure that we have this one right.
Media Whores and the Government advise that Kiwis cancel all of their plans and stay home for an entire week to wait and see if this storm actually arrives. That would be the safest thing to so.
Remember – only we can keep you safe from the weather. And terrorism. And drugs. And our never ending child abuse scandals and associated tax payer funded cover ups.
Media Whores understands that 3.6 million new orange road cones have been ordered to help shut down roads across the Nation for a few weeks after this storm – whether it arrives or not – to help keep you safe – plus another 10,000 unskilled migrant workers who will be paid to stand around those orange road cones in brand new orange vests so as to help create a sense of legitimacy and ‘orange’ alert – orange being 33 in masonic geomatria.
This money will need to come from somewhere so please be advised that your taxes will need to increase soon also.
There has been some suggestion that the Government could train up some of the 300,000 people sitting around on the WINZ sponsored meth program – to help put out the new road cones – but we would remind readers of the need for political correctness as well as the 6 million Jews that died in the recent holocaust. Lest we should ever forget – or God forbid, actually start looking after ourselves.
The transvestite Jewish communist Christchurch Mayor – Lianne ‘Dalziel’ – has apparently also purchased $100,000 of new pearls….. to help further ‘dazzle’ you and her fellow lesbian / transvestite friends. This expense will also need to be recouped.
Various other top level tax payer funded homosexual communists – who you allegedly voted for – are expected to issue life threatening statements as well….as practice for the even bigger lies they are being groomed and paid – by you – to help sell later on in their never ending tax payer funded careers……
Two men caught on film actually playing and having fun in the storm have been arrested and will now be charged for political incorrectness by Health and Safety. Fun will not be tolerated…..unless it can be taxed.
The Freemasons and police have all been instructed to turn on town alarms and sirens throughout the day also – for added dramatic effect.
The top 5 communist real estate companies have advised all sea side home owners to off load their properties as soon as possible and will be sending in their top ‘agents’ to perv at your children – and test for meth.
In the meantime – stay safe. Stay in doors. Watch your TV around the clock – including the non stop foreign bank advertising – and medical drug ads. Debt is freedom and drugs are bad, unless we are selling them. There will be non stop kiddie porn shows after the news and weather and some more whores in high fashion at 7pm – funded by you also – to help keep you all in a permanent state of ignorance so we can keep taxing you. HEK293 aborted human baby fetus “natural flavour” junk food has been provided and is now the only thing you can afford to purchase these days anyway – thanks to the new capitalist ‘free market’. Chomp it down to help alleviate all of the false fear.
Thank you for your ongoing cooperation, patience….. and servitude…..and always remember, if it doesn’t kill you…….will will try again very soon.
Your ignorance is our greatest strength. And Government and media productions such as this one help bring us all closer together in the end – under one giant tax payer funded/ homosexual communist umbrella – which we know you will all enjoy – even if never given a chance to vote for and actually agree on any of it.